The Perverted Things You’re Searching For on X-Jock

What do Yoga pants, jizz, Kate Upton and naked photos all have in common? Those are the topics you’re searching for on X-Jock.  Ohhh, you’re a dirty birdie and we love it!  Check out what each of you are typing into the Internet while browsing our website as I take you behind the scenes, into the bowels of X-Jock.  Warning: You’re a pervert.

Here at X-Jock, we strive to bring a fresh perspective on trending subjects in this fad we call the Internet.  Behind the scenes, when writing, we have to “tag” certain key words in a story so when you’re completing a Google search, our articles will appear.  For example, if I were to write about today’s Buffalo Bills win over the Detroit Lions – no matter what I type into the article, I make sure to “tag”  Lions and Bills.  After posting the article for you, we then log into our site stats and see which articles you read most.  This helps us gage your interests and allows us to continue to post stories that you want to read.  Let’s be honest – if we posted boring stuff, you wouldn’t be here.  One of the stats we are able to view are your Google searches.  The key words you happen to be looking for!  What have we recently learned about your searches?  You’ve got a dirty mind!  …and we love it.

Let’s check this week’s X-Jock site stats.  These aren’t Photoshopped or manipulated – what you’re seeing here is real, behind the scenes, administrative stats.

Monte X Jock Screen Shot 1

Monte X Jock Screen Shot 1

Today, we’ve seen three people type Big Rich Albany NY into the Internet.  Let’s assume this was our very own Big Rich.  If not, Rich, you’ve got a stalker, stud.  See that search, right under the red circle?  Now, let’s get to the good stuff. Also searched for today are:

1) Sexy Egyptian.  – Can’t say I haven’t searched for a few of those myself.

2) Why Guys Get Turned On By Yoga Pants.  -Why?  Why? This.

3) Teachers Film Having Threesome.  -Curious to know whom searched this topic.  Was it one of the teachers? A student? A lonely dad just leaving a parent-teacher conference?

Let’s expand our search beyond today.  I’m going to pull up the stats from the last week, seeing what else you’ve been searching for on-line.

Monte X Jock Screen Shot 3

Monte X Jock Screen Shot 3

Seriously – you love Yoga pants.  Ten different searches, all yoga pants related.  Though, to be fair, that number seems a little low.  Did you see Kate Upton in Yoga pants?!  Take another look.  You’re welcome.

The Fappening has been a hot search, too.  Who doesn’t love nude celebrity photos?  Wait – is Kate Upton on this list?  I’ll let that slide.  Looking for naked celebrities can probably be chalked up more towards curiosity than it would be perverted.  I mean, J-Law – were they real?  Fake?  I had to know.  What is an odd, perverted search, though – Jizz.

Someone truly went to the Internet and typed in “Jizz.”  You really went on-line…and typed in jizz?  Not anyone’s jizz in particular.  Not a pornographic video, not a celebrity.  Jizz.  You just typed in jizz?  Did you want to know what it looks like?  Was it the spelling you were unsure of?  If so, how does that conversation go?  “Your giz smells, bro.”  “Bruh, it’s gizz.”  “No, no, brah – one Z.”  *Checks Google*  “Ohhhhh – it’s J-I-Z-Z.”

Love it.  Love it, love it, love it!  We wouldn’t be here at X-Jock without you and your dirty Internet searches.  While we are the ones that write and post, it’s you that create the stories, you that make topics trending and you that keeps coming back to our site.  We love you, ya dirty SOB.  With all of these stats, Big Rich, BJ and myself now know exactly what we’re going to post about for you to read next: Kate Upton, wearing only yoga pants, having a three-some while at a college once attended by Big Rich.

About Monte

I love sports, fantasy sports, fantasizing about sports and sporting fantasies. Currently host the afternoon show on 88.3 - check out my Facebook!/pages/Monte/220290668108028 or twitter @MonteJenningsJr I pay people handsomely to update my status for me. I'm far too popular and important to handle my own updates.

Posted on October 5, 2014, in WTF and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. If anyone cares, I went to Fulton Montgomery Community College in Johnstown, NY. And I never remember seeing Kate Upton there.

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