Dear Lord, Someone Wants To Pay Mama June To Make A Sex Tape

There isn’t enough fire in the world to burn my eyes out if they ever saw a glimpse of such a thing.

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Is nothing off limits to Vivid? They now want to pay known alien, Mama June, $1 million to make a sex tape for them. I don’t want to picture it, but in my head a naked Mama June is like a combination of Jabba the Hutt and Carl from “Slingblade.” Mm hmm.

According to Gawker, TMZ released a letter from the head of Vivid studios who is willing to pay that outrageous sum to June for her services. He believes that the growing amount of people interested in the BBW community would really like to see this.

For those of you who don’t know, BBW stands for Big Beautiful Women. In Mama June’s Case, Big – Yes, Beautiful – ehhh, Woman – debatable.

Vivid has taken advantage of the “celebrity” sex tape trend. They’ve released movies with Lawrence Fishburne’s daughter, Farrah Abraham (Teen Mom), Octomom and former WWE wrester Chyna. There’s probably more to add to that list, but I don’t want to research the subject.

As for those of you who want to see a Mama June sex tape, may god have mercy on your soul.